Beginnings, Transitions, Goodbyes

sunrise coming up beyond snow capped mountain tops

At this time in life, there are chapters and versions of my story that require saying goodbye while others are merely transition points and even more are new beginnings. Which ones are which? This may or may not be the time and place to unpack it all, but I will say that I’m probably at the most peace than I have ever been in my life. This feels like a beginning. It’s certainly a departure or good-bye of what has come before.

You may be reading this and thinking, “Vague much?” <- You wouldn’t be wrong in thinking this at all.

I saw a post titled, “This Autumn Let Something Die” by Willow on Tumblr and it made me pause. The title alone demanded I take the time to read it. So I did. It goes like this:

This Autumn, let something die.

A worry, a relationship, a project that has run its course. Let go of anxiety over the future. Let go of guilt.

Let go of other people’s dreams for you. Let go of the fear that happiness or success or love or joyousness somehow isn’t for you.

Let go of feeling unwanted. Go outside, can you feel how deeply your presence is craved here?

Let go of the small and burdensome things. Gifts never opened. Keys without a lock. Broken earrings, old love letters, the ephemera on your fridge.

As David Whyte writes, “Anything or anyone that does not bring you alive is too small for you.” This Autumn, let go of all the clothes you have outgrown.

Let go of comparison.

Let go of doubt.

Let go of the feeling that you are somehow not good enough.

Because every imperfect apple that lays soft in your hands, and every ray of low Autumn sunlight that warms you through woolens will tell you a different story, a much truer story. The story that you are more, much more, than enough. That you bless this world simply by being alive.

These words written by a 22-year-old young lady out of North Carolina had the kind of wisdom we can only hope to acquire through experience and age. It would seem that wisdom knows no age. A special thanks to the rabbit hole I wondered down during a random perusing of the interwebs for it led me to this insightful post.

But I digress. As I near half a century of spinning around the sun, I am more myself and the person God meant for me to be. I’m not sure why it took me so long to get here, but damn am I grateful to have finally arrived. I have such a sense of wonder about this next part of my life.

As a woman, it seems like we are constantly living for others and now I am ready to live for myself. It’s a fine place to be in life. The adventure is truly just beginning and I can’t wait for all the future adventures which will shape me to be even more me.

January 2010: You Are Still You

 

“Cheers to a New Year and another chance for us to get things right” ~Oprah Winfrey


With a new year comes the feeling of a fresh start. Which seems especially exciting if the previous year was less than stellar. I know some folks who could not wait to shake off 2009 like unwanted mud on the bottom of their shoes. Others were sad to see it go, but looking forward to what 2010 has in store. You can count me in with the latter group.

 

Good in = Good out

Regardless of which group we fit into, we still look at a new year as a chance to “get things right”. I refuse to look at 2010 as a way to fix real or perceived wrongs. I prefer to look at the glass half-full and tend not waste time worrying about things I cannot change.  It seems to me that we as humans are bound to do things that work well for us as well as things that do not work out well. The best thing we can do is applaud our successes and make a concerted effort to modify the behavior and decision making that was not successful.

Seems simple enough, right?

Do more of the things that are good for us and less of the things that are not good for us. By doing those two simple things our life should be golden. Sure, except for the fact that we are human and not robotic in nature. There will be circumstances good and not so good that will affect our decision making. Which over the long haul will once again result in some folks shaking off 2010 and looking forward to 2011 and so on.

So what is a human to do?

To begin with recognizing that we are human and will make good and bad decisions is key. Just because the calendar has changed doesn’t necessarily mean that our world has changed. We still live in the same place. We still have the same friends and business associates. We still have the same food in the fridge. Our health and physical fitness levels are still the same at 12:01am on January 1, 2010 they were at 11:59 on December 31, 2009.

 

Hope springs eternal

Let me reassure you this is not a doom and gloom post. Quite the contrary, this is a post of hope. Here are a few things that can help make far-fetched resolutions and goals obtainable:

•  First of all, be kind to yourself. The list of resolutions and goals you have made are wonderful. In a perfect world we would all be able to check them off in a manner so efficiently we would be the envy of everyone we know. In our imperfect world we’ll be lucky if our resolutions last through the month.

•  Second figure out what exactly constitutes success for you. Sure we all want to loose weight, but we could modify this by instead stating, “I will walk for 30 minutes 3 days a week and eat salad for lunch 2 times a week.” Stating this as a goal seems more manageable and certainly healthier for us in the long run.

Walking for a few days a week and a slight modification in a couple of meals doesn’t seem like a huge change, but I will bet that after 30 days of doing this you’ll feel a difference. Maybe not in pounds lost, but in energy gained. Plus isn’t a fitter more energetic version of ourselves something we would all like to see?

•  Third, take people on your journey with you. It may be a surprise to you that there are other folks who also want to lose weight or become more organized or ______________ (insert your goal here). Making a change with others is like having a helping hand. Being part of a group dynamic means that not only are we in this together but we have one another to lean on when the going gets difficult. We can rejoice in the success and encourage one another through the challenges.

 

Slow and steady wins the race” – Tortoise from The Tortoise and the Hare


One Step At A Time

My goals for this year revolve around organization, fitness, faith and family. The fastest road to failure would be for me make an extreme change and attack these goals all at once. Since I have always been a fan of the Tortoise method of thought, I have opted to slowly add the steps that will help me accomplish goals. By making small changes that will over the course of time lead me to make a lasting change.

I would love to hear the things you have done successfully or maybe not so successfully.  What are some of the small steps you are taking to make those resolutions turn into a lasting change?


image by Milo Winter